1 00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:04,803 - Dad says you told him you're going 2 00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:06,572 to write a book about a movie star, Mr. Wilson. 3 00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:07,573 Are you? 4 00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:08,607 - That's right. 5 00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:10,542 The deal isn't set yet, but-- 6 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:11,710 - Oh, boy. 7 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:12,678 Which movie star you going to write about? 8 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,879 Laurel and Hardy? 9 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:14,780 Yogi Bear? 10 00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,515 I'd love to read about them. 11 00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:17,049 - No. 12 00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,450 No, Dennis. 13 00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:21,820 I'm going to do the life and loves of Miss Norma Lamont. 14 00:00:21,821 --> 00:00:23,655 - Who? 15 00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:27,226 - Well, here's a picture of her. 16 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:31,263 She's been retired for several years now, but in her day, 17 00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:32,398 she was quite a siren. 18 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,566 - A siren? - Yeah. 19 00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:38,203 - Do you mean she went-- [shrieking]? 20 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,138 - No. 21 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:40,172 No, no. 22 00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:42,307 No Dennis, I didn't mean that at all. 23 00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:47,146 I mean she always played the role of the temptress. 24 00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:49,682 Uh, of the seductress. 25 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,483 The-- the vampire? 26 00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:53,285 - Oh, the vampire. 27 00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:55,054 I saw that on television. 28 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,890 Boy, she came zooming into the castle dressed like a bat, 29 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,792 and she bit Boris Karloff in the neck. 30 00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:00,693 - Oh, no. 31 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,161 That wasn't Miss Lamont. 32 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,595 - And then she zoomed out again. 33 00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:13,539 Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom-- 34 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:14,541 - Zoom, zoom. 35 00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:22,982 [theme music] 36 00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:50,409 - And I'm going to write to Miss Lamont 37 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,745 and tell her I want $1,000 to do her memoirs. 38 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:53,912 - Good. 39 00:01:53,913 --> 00:01:56,382 She'll probably pay it without a whimper. 40 00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:59,019 - Listen to this, I have read all your articles 41 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,653 and can tell you are a young and vigorous author 42 00:02:01,654 --> 00:02:03,822 with a youthful point of view. 43 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:10,062 [chuckling] And only a young man can understand and truly write 44 00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:12,865 the story of Norma Lamont. 45 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:15,601 - I'm glad this collaboration is going to be a long distance 46 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:18,170 one, with her in New York and you here. 47 00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,906 - Yes, well, she's going to send me a copy of her files, 48 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:23,375 and-- why are you glad? 49 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:26,211 - Because I couldn't trust my young, charming husband 50 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,646 with a glamorous actress. 51 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,114 - Oh, no. 52 00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:31,150 Now, you have nothing to worry about. 53 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:31,817 - Oh. 54 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,118 - Oh, well, here now. 55 00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:34,953 Look at that picture. 56 00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:38,390 Now, you can't call that face glamorous. 57 00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:40,259 - That's not so bad, John. 58 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,895 She must have been very beautiful. 59 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:43,896 - Oh. 60 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:47,566 Well, if I just put a beard on this, 61 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:54,340 she'd be the spitting image of, uh-- General Grant. 62 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,240 There. 63 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:57,110 Now, who does that look like? 64 00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,748 - That's General Grant? 65 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:03,749 [doorbell] 66 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:04,651 - I'll get it. 67 00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:13,625 It's a special delivery for you. 68 00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:14,193 - Oh? 69 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,127 Who's it from? 70 00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,062 - From General Grant herself. 71 00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:17,730 - Oh. 72 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,100 Oh, let's see that. 73 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:27,072 Dear Mr. Wilson, I have a wonderful surprise. 74 00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:29,508 Instead of mailing the material for my book, 75 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,377 I'm going to bring it to you. 76 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,511 - Bring it? 77 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,413 - I'm flying out of the coast, so thought 78 00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,182 I'd stop over with you for a couple of hours 79 00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,584 Saturday afternoon. 80 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:39,618 - That's today. 81 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,787 - She's coming here to see me? 82 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:42,955 But she can't. 83 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,758 I mean, Louise-- Louise, what am I going to do? 84 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:46,592 - Now, John. 85 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:47,626 John, dear, don't get so upset. 86 00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:48,961 Everything will be all right. 87 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,829 - Yes, but she's expecting a much younger man. 88 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:53,666 When she sees how old I am, I won't get to do it. 89 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,435 - Oh, now, John dear, you don't look so old. 90 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:57,103 For your age. 91 00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,282 - Hm, I wonder. 92 00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:13,686 Well, it isn't impossible. 93 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:17,357 Yes, by George, I'll do it. 94 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,795 - Hi, Mr. Krinkie. 95 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,230 - Well, hello there, boys. - How's the newspaper business? 96 00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,198 - Slow, Dennis. 97 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,434 You boys got any news for me today? 98 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,202 - The only news I know is that I passed 99 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:31,503 my arithmetic test yesterday. 100 00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:34,406 - We both passed, and boy, that's big news at my house. 101 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,742 - Sounds like a page one story to me. 102 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:38,377 Anything else? 103 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,080 - Well, there's some news at Mr. Wilson's house. 104 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,581 Mrs. Wilson just told us a movie actress 105 00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,650 is coming to see him today. 106 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,786 - Yeah, her name's Norma Lamont, or something like that. 107 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,088 - Norma Lamont? 108 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,489 She's pretty famous. 109 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,725 What's she coming to see Wilson for? 110 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,626 - He's gonna write a book about her. 111 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:55,661 - Thanks a lot, boys. 112 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,730 That's a real scoop. 113 00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:00,733 - If that's a scoop, I guess that makes us reporters, huh? 114 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,601 - It certainly does. 115 00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:05,037 - How much do reporters make? 116 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,171 - Oh. 117 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:09,908 Well, I usually pay my men, uh, $0.10 apiece. 118 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:10,876 There you are. 119 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:11,777 - Gee, thanks, Mr. Krinkie. 120 00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:14,179 - Boy. Thanks, Mr. Krinkie. 121 00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:15,614 Boy, Dennis. That was quick thinking. 122 00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:20,486 - You gotta think quick in the newspaper business, Tommy. 123 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,655 - And I'm here on this errand for a friend of mine, 124 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,758 sort of a favor, you see. 125 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,092 - Yes, what may I do for you, sir? 126 00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:30,562 - Well, he has this gray hair around the temple here. 127 00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:31,463 [phone ringing] 128 00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:32,598 - Excuse me. 129 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:35,134 Andre's beauty salon? 130 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:39,538 Um, your appointment is at, yes, 2:15. 131 00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:40,706 Thank you very much. 132 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,075 Good day. 133 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,343 Now, you were saying, I'm sorry. 134 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,477 - Oh. 135 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,912 Yes, about the gray hair at the temple. 136 00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:50,616 I-- well, not this gray hair, of course, but gray hair like it. 137 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:51,917 - Yes, I understand. 138 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,318 - Yeah. 139 00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:55,087 Well, I told him that I'd come down here and buy some dye 140 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,555 and learn how to use it. 141 00:05:56,556 --> 00:06:01,293 Then he can touch up his gray hair, make it black again. 142 00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,628 - Oh. 143 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:05,030 Well, now this is an excellent preparation, Mister, uh-- 144 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:05,531 - Wilson. 145 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,199 John Wilson. 146 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,068 That's for that friend of mine, of course, not for me. 147 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,403 - Yes, I understand. 148 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:12,939 - Well, I'll take some of that. 149 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,041 - And this really should be done by a professional, Mr. Wilson. 150 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:16,842 - A professional? 151 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,110 - Yes. 152 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:20,145 Mr. Andre could do a beautiful job on your hair. 153 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,113 - What? 154 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,081 But that isn't for me. 155 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,449 It's for this friend of mine. 156 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,184 He's going to die my hair myself. 157 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,485 His hair myself. 158 00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:27,886 Himself. 159 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,322 Here, keep the change. 160 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:37,629 - Hi, Mr. Wilson. 161 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:38,464 - Oh. 162 00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:39,732 Hello, boys. 163 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,134 - What you been doing in the beauty shop, Mr. Wilson? 164 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,069 - Uh, nothing, Tommy. Nothing. 165 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,871 - Hair dye. 166 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:48,440 - What do you want with hair dye, Mr. Wilson? 167 00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,508 - Never mind, Tommy. 168 00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,844 I got it because-- well, that is, I-- 169 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,812 - He probably bought it for his wife, Tommy. 170 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,080 What else? 171 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,181 Right Mr. Wilson? 172 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,349 - Right, Dennis. 173 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:58,484 Oh, bless your little heart. 174 00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,552 You never were so right. 175 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:03,222 Are you boys on your way home now? 176 00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,289 - Yes, sir. 177 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,557 Is there something we can do for you? 178 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,558 - There certainly is. 179 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,093 Mrs. Wilson is waiting for this. 180 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,929 Would you get it to her right away? 181 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:13,732 I'd just as soon not carry it around downtown here. 182 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,668 - Afraid you might lose it, huh? 183 00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:16,869 - You're absolutely right. 184 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,872 Tell her I'll be home in a couple of hours. 185 00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,540 Well, now I'm going to the men's shop 186 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:22,509 and get myself youthful-ized. 187 00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:29,682 Yes, youthful-ized. 188 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,584 - What does youthful-ized mean, Tommy? 189 00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:33,452 - I don't know. 190 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,820 I guess it means getting younger. 191 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,456 - Boy, he sure is starting off late. 192 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,228 Uh-oh. 193 00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:44,096 - Oh, brother. 194 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,531 Now what'll we do? 195 00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:46,932 - Well, I didn't mean to, Tommy. 196 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,534 It just slipped right out of the box. 197 00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:50,636 - Mr. Wilson will have a fit. 198 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,437 - Yeah. 199 00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:52,871 I wonder how much it costs. 200 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,239 - It costs a lot. 201 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,710 Mom uses it all the time and-- hey, I know what. 202 00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:58,243 - What? 203 00:07:58,244 --> 00:07:59,111 What, Tommy? 204 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,412 What? 205 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,613 - Well, she just got a new bottle that she hasn't even 206 00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,048 opened yet. 207 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,017 We'll put it in this box here and give it to Mrs. Wilson. 208 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,452 She'll never know the difference. 209 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,653 - Boy, that'll save our life. 210 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,421 Let's clean up this mess, and then we'll get it. 211 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:21,301 - Louise? 212 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,609 - John! 213 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,245 - Meet the new John Wilson. 214 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:33,947 Well? 215 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,115 What do you think? 216 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:39,084 - Well, I think you better stay inside off the streets 217 00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,786 before somebody sees you. 218 00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,855 - You don't like it? - Well, no. 219 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,156 Frankly I don't. 220 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:47,593 - Well, dressing younger makes me feel younger. 221 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,828 Instead of a middle aged author, I rather 222 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:51,797 feel like an angry young man. 223 00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:54,133 - You know, if somebody sold me a suit like that, 224 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,934 I'd be angry too. 225 00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:59,071 - Well, just wait till I finish my youthful-izing process. 226 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,339 You'll see. 227 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,708 When I get rid of the gray hair and-- oh, by the way, 228 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,277 did Dennis bring home a bottle of dye for me? 229 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,445 - Yes, dear. It's in the kitchen. 230 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:08,414 Now really, John, isn't that being silly? 231 00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,516 I mean, dying your hair? 232 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,518 - Now, Louise, business is business. 233 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:16,388 If Miss Lamont wants a young author, I'll be a young author. 234 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,924 There's a lot of money involved here. 235 00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,258 - Well, I wish I could help you, dear, 236 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,026 but I'm due at the dentist's office right now. 237 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:21,760 I've got to run. 238 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:22,895 - Well, don't worry about me. 239 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,296 You go right ahead. 240 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,665 When you get back, I'll be so young you may not even 241 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:27,900 recognize me. 242 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,368 - Don't worry, dear. 243 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,370 I'll recognize you. 244 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:58,897 - Oh, you are a handsome devil, John. 245 00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,800 [humming] 246 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,905 Let's not just do the temples, Johnny boy. 247 00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,175 Let's take all the gray out while we're at it. 248 00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:52,218 What the-- great Christopher. Eloise! 249 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,789 Eloise! Eloise. 250 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,557 Eloise. [doorbell] 251 00:10:58,558 --> 00:10:59,625 - She went to the dentist. 252 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:00,392 Come in. 253 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,360 No, don't. 254 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,728 - Hi, Mr. Wilson. 255 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,597 I just came over to tell you-- jeepers, 256 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,766 what happened to your hair? 257 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,636 - That dye I got from the beauty shop ruined it. 258 00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:12,071 oh, what a mess. 259 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:14,273 - You mean the dye I brought home for Mrs. Wilson? 260 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,641 - It wasn't for Mrs. Wilson. 261 00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,176 It was for me. 262 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,577 Now please, Dennis, go home. 263 00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,979 I'm in trouble enough. 264 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,613 - I'd love to go home, Mr. Wilson. 265 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,883 But first there's something I gotta tell you. 266 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:26,118 - Honestly, Dennis. 267 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,786 I don't know how you manage to do these things. 268 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,488 - Jeepers, I didn't mean to do it, Dad. 269 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,257 Like I told Tommy, it just slipped right out of the box. 270 00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,760 - Well, it's all beside the point now, Henry. 271 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,762 Miss Lamont will be here at any moment, and look at me. 272 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:37,763 I'm a mess. 273 00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,098 - Well, frankly John, I don't know 274 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,200 why you wanted to darken your hair in the first place. 275 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,768 You look very distinguished with the-- 276 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,870 - I was trying to look younger. 277 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:48,907 Miss Lamont expects a young author, somebody about-- well, 278 00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,275 about your age. 279 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:53,212 - Hey, I got a swell idea, Mr. Wilson. 280 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,448 - What do you want me to do now, paint my ears green? 281 00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,117 - Oh, I don't think that would help much. 282 00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:02,054 But it might help if Dad took your place today. 283 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,856 - Took my place? - Sure. 284 00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,158 The lady's never seen either one of you, 285 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,061 and she's expecting somebody Dad's age. 286 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:09,963 - How about it, Henry? 287 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:10,629 - Oh, no. 288 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,897 I couldn't. 289 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,399 - Well, she'll only be here for a couple of hours. 290 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,067 Then she leaves town. 291 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,301 - I'd never fool that woman. 292 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:17,703 I'm no actor. 293 00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,805 - How do you know you're not? 294 00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,073 No, no. 295 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,074 Now look, why don't you pretend that you're 296 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:22,875 meeting Miss Lamont? 297 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,743 Say, how do you do? 298 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,545 I'm John Wilson. - How do you do? 299 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:27,880 I'm John Wilson. 300 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,315 - And you say you're no actor. 301 00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:33,485 Why, Laurence Olivier couldn't have handled that line better. 302 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,420 - Really? 303 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,387 - Come on, now. 304 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,488 Help me out. 305 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,556 Do it? 306 00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:40,359 - Well, it-- it might be kind of fun. 307 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,761 All right, I'll try it. 308 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,131 - I always knew you'd come in handy sometime, Dad. 309 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,941 - She's coming up the walk now, Mr. Wilson. 310 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,844 - Oh, I'll be in the dining room, if you need me. 311 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,346 - I'll get rid of her just as fast as I can. 312 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,949 - Sit down at the desk and look like a writer, Dad. 313 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,783 I'll let her in. 314 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:08,153 [doorbell] 315 00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:10,689 - Is this the residence of John Wilson? 316 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:11,857 - Yes, ma'am. 317 00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:14,059 He's expecting you, if you're Miss Lamont. 318 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:15,227 - I'm she, darling. 319 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,895 Are you an offspring of his? 320 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:17,596 - No, ma'am. 321 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,064 I live next door to him. 322 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,065 Come on in. 323 00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,067 - Thank you, darling. 324 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,707 - Here's Miss Lamont. 325 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,909 - Oh, how do you do? 326 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,611 I'm John Wilson. 327 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,380 - Hey, you said that good. 328 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,348 - Won't you sit down, Miss Lamont? 329 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:40,285 - Bless you, darling. 330 00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:41,387 - It's her, Mr. Wilson. 331 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:41,988 It's her. 332 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:42,621 - I know it's her. 333 00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:43,322 I know. 334 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,457 Keep your voice down. 335 00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,596 - Is that the material on your life, Miss Lamont? 336 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,564 - Just the high spots. 337 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,200 I really lived, darling. 338 00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,769 - Well, I know you're a very busy woman, 339 00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:58,103 so we'll just have a short discussion-- 340 00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:03,777 - Before we discuss anything, let me look at you. 341 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,747 - Anything wrong? 342 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:15,054 - No, you're just what I wanted-- young and a wee bit innocent. 343 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:15,555 - Oh, fine. 344 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:24,964 - Now, let's get on with the mercenary details, darling. 345 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,367 How much do you expect to be paid for writing my life. 346 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,706 - Would $100 be too much? 347 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,675 - Oh, no. [inaudible]. 348 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:37,443 - I'm going out there. 349 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,610 - But Mr. Wilson, she'll-- 350 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:39,678 - I know what I'm doing. 351 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,548 Just be quiet. 352 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:46,085 - I'm glad to find you're so reasonable. 353 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,420 Most men are so unreasonable. 354 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,588 - Oh? 355 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,290 - Uh, pardon the interruption. 356 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,725 - Who are you, darling? 357 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,660 - I'm John Wilson's lawyer, and I seem 358 00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,996 to have arrived just at the right moment. 359 00:14:57,097 --> 00:15:00,299 My client did not mean that price of $100. 360 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,101 - He said it. 361 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:05,304 - Well, you know how writers are, their heads in the clouds, 362 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:06,472 no thoughts about money. 363 00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,507 - Oh, that's me, all right. 364 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,509 - What he intends to do is write your life 365 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:13,846 in 10 chapters at $100 per chapter. 366 00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:15,547 That's roughly $1,000. 367 00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:18,517 - Very roughly. 368 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,452 I'll pay him 500. 369 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,453 He'll take it. 370 00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,755 He doesn't like to bicker. 371 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,089 Do you, John? 372 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,791 - Well, you're the doctor. 373 00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:29,128 - No, Mr. Wilson's your lawyer. 374 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,529 - Wilson? 375 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,399 - Oh, I'm-- I'm also his brother. 376 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,067 - Yes, my brother, Henry. 377 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:38,070 - What a cozy arrangement. 378 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,172 - Well, that's why I came in without knocking. 379 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:43,075 My brother's house is just like my house. 380 00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:45,310 - Yeah, just like. 381 00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:48,180 - Is that why you keep your hat on? 382 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,715 - Oh, the hat. 383 00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:53,585 Well, I wear it because I'm subject to head colds. 384 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,087 And neuralgia. 385 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,690 I also have a sinus condition. 386 00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:01,928 - Oh, you're in foul shape, darling. 387 00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,328 - Yes. 388 00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:06,532 Well, now that I'm here, can I clear up any other points? 389 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:07,700 - No. 390 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,668 No, I'd rather be alone with your brother. 391 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:10,703 - Oh, of course. 392 00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:15,040 Very nice meeting you, Miss Lamont. 393 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:18,177 - You are much nicer than your brother-- not so 394 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,479 used-up looking. 395 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,449 - Thanks. 396 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,452 Well, now we can start looking over the material. 397 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,887 - Must the little ragamuffin stay with us? 398 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,556 He has a home, hasn't he? 399 00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:31,958 - Well-- 400 00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,525 - Oh, I don't want to go home. 401 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,060 My father's a mean man. 402 00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,363 He starves me and beats me. 403 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,764 - That's enough about your father, Dennis. 404 00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:39,665 Now, run along. 405 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,066 - OK. 406 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,902 Jeepers, I was enjoying this. 407 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:49,708 - Now we can really get on with it, just the two of us. 408 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:52,478 - Yes, I'm-- I'm anxious to get started on some of this-- 409 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:55,080 - Oh, hello. 410 00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,082 - Sweetheart, you're home. 411 00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:58,283 - Yes-- 412 00:16:58,284 --> 00:16:59,651 - Darling, I'd like you to meet Miss Norma Lamont. 413 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,854 Miss Lamont, this is my wife. 414 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,757 - How do you do, Mrs. Wilson? 415 00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:07,026 - How about a little hug, honey? 416 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:07,927 John's in the dining room. 417 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,129 I'm taking his place. 418 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,897 Uh, Miss Lamont and I are talking business. 419 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,500 I think you can find something to keep you busy. 420 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:17,404 - Uh, oh-- how do you do? 421 00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,715 - John, what is going on here? 422 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:33,218 Why is Henry taking your place? 423 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,854 - Promise you won't laugh? - I promise. 424 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,098 That's the last promise I'll ever make. 425 00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:54,840 - Now, we can get back to this. 426 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,210 - Imagine your father doing a thing like that. 427 00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,012 I wish I could see his performance. 428 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:00,846 - You can see it, Ma. 429 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,381 Come over and be Mrs. Wilson. 430 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,283 She's at the dentist today. 431 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,718 - No, I'll keep out of it. 432 00:18:05,719 --> 00:18:07,720 - I guess that would be all right with Miss Lamont. 433 00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:10,022 - She wanted me to get out of there 434 00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:12,424 so she could be alone with Dad. 435 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,460 - Oh? 436 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,562 That was a good idea of yours, Dennis. 437 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:18,464 I will be Mrs. Wilson. 438 00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:19,698 Come on. 439 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,667 - I think the first chapter of my life 440 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,036 should start with where I was born. 441 00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:25,304 How does that strike you? 442 00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:26,672 - Well, it's a good suggestion. 443 00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,040 - Bless you, darling. 444 00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:31,643 Now, where should I be born? 445 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,544 Paris? 446 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,380 Rome? 447 00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,715 Or possibly Tahiti. 448 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:39,651 - Well, where were you born? 449 00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,653 - Sheboygan, Wisconsin. 450 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:45,424 But Sheboygan's not really me. 451 00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:47,826 [doorbell] 452 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,795 - Hey, look who I met outside. 453 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:53,299 Mrs. Wilson. - Darling. 454 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,771 - Hello, dear. 455 00:18:58,772 --> 00:19:01,006 - And you must be Norma Lamont. 456 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,008 - There's no doubt about that, darling. 457 00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,477 But you are Mrs. Wilson? 458 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,112 - Well, you see-- 459 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,048 - I certainly am. 460 00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:11,650 - Well, here we go again. 461 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,652 - It's so nice to meet you. 462 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,256 I've enjoyed your pictures ever since I was just a little girl. 463 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:24,263 - Lover, I've been waiting for you. 464 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,264 You're my wife. 465 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:27,733 Don't ask any questions. 466 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,501 I'm sorry to break in like this, but I 467 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,803 told Alice to meet me here. 468 00:19:30,804 --> 00:19:32,404 Don't you want to go and see your sister-in-law? 469 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,872 Come along. 470 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:36,342 Here. 471 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,811 - So she's your brother's wife. 472 00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:41,480 For a moment I didn't know what was going on. 473 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:42,848 - I know just how you feel. 474 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:45,584 - She kissed you very affectionately. 475 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,253 - Well, we're a very affectionate family. 476 00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:50,289 Don't you kiss your sister's husband? 477 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:54,693 - If I had a sister, she wouldn't let me near her husband. 478 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,061 - Well, with all these interruptions, 479 00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:57,262 why, it must be time for you to go. 480 00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:57,796 You can just leave this material with me-- 481 00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:58,530 - No, no, no. 482 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,566 We still have time. 483 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:01,767 We can carry on till-- 484 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:05,170 [doorbell] 485 00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:09,108 - Tell them to come back later, Dennis. 486 00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:10,275 - Hi, Mr. Krinkie. 487 00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:11,744 - Hi, Dennis. 488 00:20:11,745 --> 00:20:13,012 We came over to interview Miss Lamont and get some pictures. 489 00:20:13,013 --> 00:20:14,079 Is she here? 490 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,382 - Yes, but she can't see you right now. 491 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:17,716 You better come back later. 492 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,084 A lot later. 493 00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,120 - She'll make time for the press. 494 00:20:21,121 --> 00:20:23,122 - I couldn't keep them out, Miss Lamont. 495 00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:24,256 - Indeed. 496 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,591 Well, I don't know who these people are, 497 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:26,725 but they have no right-- 498 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,727 - We're from the newspaper, Miss Lamont. 499 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,130 - Oh, the newspaper. 500 00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:33,432 Bless you, darling. 501 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:34,767 - It's Krinkie. 502 00:20:34,768 --> 00:20:35,934 He'll spill everything. 503 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,302 You girls go out there and see if you 504 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:38,838 can help Henry get rid of him. 505 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,243 - Miss Lamont has to leave soon. 506 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,145 You better get your interview and run along, Krinkie. 507 00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:47,547 - OK, grab a picture, Bill. 508 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,552 - Oh, hello, Mrs. Wilson. 509 00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:54,520 - Hello, Mr. Krinkie. 510 00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:55,654 - Hello, Mrs.-- 511 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:56,755 - We've never seen a newspaper interview. 512 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,157 We came to watch. 513 00:20:58,158 --> 00:20:59,558 - Oh, be my guest. 514 00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,794 Understand Wilson's doing some writing for you. 515 00:21:01,795 --> 00:21:06,165 - Yes, he's agreed to write the fabulous story of my life. 516 00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:08,934 - Good, how about a picture of you with Wilson? 517 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,469 - Splendid. 518 00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,972 - I think you should take another picture of Miss Lamont 519 00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:13,973 by herself. 520 00:21:14,074 --> 00:21:15,207 - We just took one. 521 00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:17,109 - Well, I think you should take her profile. 522 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,210 She's famous for it. 523 00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:19,878 - Yes, it's so lovely. 524 00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:21,413 - Sweet of you to notice, dear. 525 00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:26,518 - OK. 526 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:27,886 Now, let's get Wilson. 527 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:30,155 - You haven't taken the back of her head yet. 528 00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:32,157 - I'd rather have one with Mr. Wilson now. 529 00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:33,225 Come, darling. 530 00:21:33,226 --> 00:21:36,095 - No, I want Wilson, not Mitchell. 531 00:21:36,096 --> 00:21:37,696 - Mitchell? 532 00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:40,466 - Yeah, where's your husband, Mrs. Wilson? 533 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,767 - Oh, I give up. 534 00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:43,736 He's in there. 535 00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:46,705 - I should have known it. 536 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:50,175 Let me handle this. 537 00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:51,811 You and your aging brother. 538 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:04,256 - Do-- do you need any legal advice? 539 00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:06,493 - No, but I think you're going to, darling. 540 00:22:17,237 --> 00:22:19,838 - Please don't be angry with him, Miss Lamont. 541 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,440 He's really a fine writer. 542 00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:23,909 - Yes, he just wanted you to think he was young. 543 00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:27,346 - Well, I was so anxious to do the story 544 00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:29,081 of your fabulous life. 545 00:22:29,082 --> 00:22:32,117 - Well, you definitely won't do it now. 546 00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:33,385 - Wait a minute, Miss Lamont. 547 00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:35,187 If you wanted a young man, you couldn't 548 00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:37,222 get one younger than Mr. Wilson. 549 00:22:37,223 --> 00:22:38,590 - Oh, come now. 550 00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:42,227 He's no juvenile under that two-tone top. 551 00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:43,829 - I don't mean on the outside. 552 00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:45,330 That doesn't count. 553 00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,732 He's young inside. 554 00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:48,100 - Really? 555 00:22:48,101 --> 00:22:49,301 - He's my very best friend. 556 00:22:49,302 --> 00:22:52,104 We get along just like we were the same age. 557 00:22:52,105 --> 00:22:54,440 - Oh, likes children, huh? 558 00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:57,743 Well, I suppose he has some good qualities, but-- 559 00:22:57,744 --> 00:23:00,713 - And not only that, he thinks you're beautiful and kind 560 00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:02,881 and the best actress in the world. 561 00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:04,783 - He does? 562 00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:06,953 - Oh, I do, I do, I do. 563 00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:08,687 - You're his very favorite star. 564 00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:11,056 - You are, you are, you are. 565 00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:14,226 - Well, perhaps I have been too hasty, darling. 566 00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,928 If that's the way you feel about me, 567 00:23:15,929 --> 00:23:18,764 you should write my life story. 568 00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:20,132 - Oh, thank you, Miss Lamont. 569 00:23:20,133 --> 00:23:20,833 Thank you. 570 00:23:20,834 --> 00:23:22,668 And thank you, Dennis. 571 00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:23,970 - He's crazy about you, Miss Lamont. 572 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:26,438 He even keeps a picture of you in his desk. 573 00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:28,975 - I do, I do, I do. 574 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:29,476 Dennis. 575 00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:39,952 - So this is what you think of me. 576 00:23:39,953 --> 00:23:41,754 - I don't think you look like General Grant. 577 00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:42,821 It's all a mistake. 578 00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:44,423 You see, I can explain. 579 00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:45,657 - Don't bother, darling. 580 00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:48,227 You are not going to write my life story. 581 00:23:48,228 --> 00:23:49,361 - Miss Lamont. 582 00:23:49,362 --> 00:23:50,796 - You're too young. 583 00:23:50,797 --> 00:23:53,133 In fact, you're in your second childhood. 584 00:23:58,638 --> 00:23:59,372 Good day. 585 00:24:07,414 --> 00:24:08,480 - Jeepers. 586 00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:09,748 No wonder she's mad. 587 00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:13,619 You made her look just like General Grant. 588 00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,754 - Well, at least I was right about that. 589 00:24:15,755 --> 00:24:17,222 - Oh, never mind, John. 590 00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:19,291 You'll get plenty of other jobs. 591 00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:21,193 - Of course you will. 592 00:24:21,194 --> 00:24:22,695 - Yeah, you've got a lot of talent. 593 00:24:22,696 --> 00:24:24,363 - You sure have, Mr. Wilson. 594 00:24:24,364 --> 00:24:25,965 You're a swell artist. 595 00:24:26,066 --> 00:24:27,099 - Artist? 596 00:24:27,100 --> 00:24:28,100 - Yeah. 597 00:24:28,101 --> 00:24:29,401 With talent like this, you don't have 598 00:24:29,402 --> 00:24:31,437 to worry about losing your job writing articles. 599 00:24:31,438 --> 00:24:35,708 You can draw pictures for the comic books. 600 00:24:35,709 --> 00:24:37,711 [laughter] 601 00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:46,619 [theme music] 602 00:25:29,396 --> 00:25:33,166 NARRATOR: This has been a Screen Gems film production.